Sometimes in life the future becomes overwhelming and it’s
hard to focus on anything because you’re so nervous about what’s going to come
next. Recently, (as in the past 2 years of my life) I have had this feeling
pretty consistently. Whether it was searching for post-college employment or
being in month 8 of FEMA Corps and still not having a Life After AmeriCorps
plan solidified or sitting in Ripon, WI with no income and freaking out about
how I am going to move to Sacramento with $130 in my bank account, this feeling
of uncertainty in the future has been there. Giving me a knot in my stomach for
the past few years, letting me know that I need to figure out what the hell I’m
doing with my life or else I will be forced to work at Whole Foods cutting up
fish for the rest of my days.
Currently, I have this feeling again. I am 72 days away from
being done at the California Conservation Corps. SEVENTY TWO DAYS AWAY. That
is less than 3 months. That is a terrifyingly short period of time for me.
TERRIFYING. As someone who likes to plan and plan to plan things, I am getting
pretty nervous, but I’m trying to not stress about it. Everyone keeps saying
that something will happen and I certainly hope they are right.
In the meantime, I have decided to start planning events,
activities, anything that I can 100%, accurately plan. The feeling of having
something solidified is so much better than the uncertainty, which is why I’m
so excited for this weekend coming up.
Isn't that a good feeling? The feeling of anticipation
before something really awesome happens? I realize that I shouldn't be wishing
my life away and trust me, I am not. Wishing my life away would mean that those
72 days fly by quicker than they already are, but I’m just excited about this
next coming weekend. I get excited when things go according to plan pretty
easily, which means that when things don’t go according to plan, I stress about
it easily. However, I know that this weekend is going to go exactly as planned
because there is barely any plan! I also realize that I haven’t told you the
events of this coming weekend, but that is because I am keeping some of it as a
surprise for Dana and I know that she will read this!
Besides, this post is less about the events that are coming,
it’s more about the feeling of having that plan. For me, it’s like preparing
for a big trip and getting on the plane knowing that even the most mundane event
like flying for 5 hours is awesome and that things can only go up from there. OMG Okay I will tell!
DAY
|
EVENT
|
Friday 2/13
|
VISTA Regional meeting 12 pm- 4 pm
All the Sacramento area AmeriCorps VISTAs get together and we get out
of work early!
|
Out of Bounds Brewery 5:30 pm
Dana’s coworker has a Groupon to this new brewery nearby and invited
us along!
|
|
Saturday 2/14
|
Point Reyes National Park
There is a cool lighthouse there and it’s on the coast and we can see
Redwoods!
|
Surprise event that I’m not telling Dana about
|
|
Sunday 2/15
|
Sierra Nevada Brewery in Chico
Dana got us reservations to do the brewery tour
|
Monday 2/16
|
I don’t think we have any plans set in stone, but we might try to
take the train up to Old Folsom and then hike to see Folsom Prison
|
As you can see from the table above, we have some exciting events coming up. I just had this feeling of satisfaction knowing that things will fall into place and happen as they are supposed to this coming weekend.
It’s sort of funny, isn't it? How I can feel so at peace
with such minimal perimeters and yet for my future career I have the same
minimal perimeters, but I’m freaking out. I hope that this next weekend is a
theme for the next 72 days. Plan ahead for things that I can control and know
that everything else will fall into place. If I keep sending my job
applications, resumes, and cover letters out into the abyss while I’m still
working hard here at the CCC, then everything else will happen naturally.
What I’m really getting at here is that I hope by April 15,
I have the same sense of satisfaction and excitement for my future that I have
right now looking at the weekend. That will happen, right? Right?!
